honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize