Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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