Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
