whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
