the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
