Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
