after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
