He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
