the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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