dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
