I will die if light touches me.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
