fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
