I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
it's great music for shaving your balls
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
