who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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