dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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