hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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