She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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