My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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