I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
