awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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