I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
