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He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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