I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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