Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
