It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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