It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
