3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
