is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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