Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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