happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Ladies don't puke and tell
My vagina just clenched in fear
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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