I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
