It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
