he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
