Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
