Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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