Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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