I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
