i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
