Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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