whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
