All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
