its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
