No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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