Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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