I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
