Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize