I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
