Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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