Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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