The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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