This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
