I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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