How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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