Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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