just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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