I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
