I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize