the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think a kid would responsible me up
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
