I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
