i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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